Finding My Way Back

Cristina shares her journey of faith, belonging, and confirmation

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I didn’t set out with a clear plan to be confirmed—it found me in a quiet, unexpected way. One Sunday, during a service I attended out of curiosity more than certainty, Confirmation was mentioned. Something about it stayed with me. I had taken my First Communion as a teenager in a Catholic church in Brazil, but at the time it felt more like something I was told to do rather than something I truly understood.

Now, in my early 40s, life looks very different. I’ve been through experiences that shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined—some beautiful, some deeply challenging. Somewhere along the way, I lost my sense of faith. In moments of loneliness, sadness, and desperation, I reached for different beliefs, trying to fill a space I didn’t fully understand. I invited those ideas into my life and into my family’s life, hoping they might bring peace, but something always felt incomplete.

When I moved to Cornwall in early 2021, I carried that quiet sense of being lost with me. I knew I believed in God, but I didn’t really know what that meant anymore. My family isn’t religious, and that made the journey feel even more isolating. Still, something in me kept searching.

One Sunday, I decided to walk into St Petroc’s. I didn’t know what to expect, especially having grown up Catholic and never having attended a Church of England service. But during that service, something shifted. I became overwhelmed with emotion and couldn’t stop crying. It wasn’t sadness—it was something deeper, something I couldn’t quite put into words. In that moment, I knew I had found where I was meant to be.

I kept going back. And slowly, gently, I felt my life becoming more peaceful. It wasn’t dramatic or sudden, but it was real. The more I showed up, the more I felt Jesus present in my life. And eventually, I knew it was time to make a commitment—not just outwardly, but within myself. Confirmation felt like the right step.

The classes leading up to it were incredibly meaningful. They gave me a clearer understanding of the Christian faith through the Church of England. More than that, they gave me something I hadn’t realised I was missing—a sense of belonging. I felt welcomed, encouraged, and supported. I met people who genuinely care, who pray for one another. I don’t remember ever having people in my life praying for me before, and that alone made me feel deeply loved.

The Confirmation service itself was a very special day. My family came to support me. That meant so much. Their perspective has always been simple—if something matters to me, it matters to them. Having them there felt like a quiet but powerful kind of unity.

I often pray for my family—not that they would simply believe what I believe, but that they would experience the same love I have come to know. It’s hard to explain, because it goes beyond belief. It’s a feeling, a presence, a deep sense of being known and never alone.

When I look back on my life now, I can see how Jesus was always there, even in the moments when I felt most lost, afraid, or hopeless. I just didn’t recognise it at the time. And that’s what I hope for them—to feel that same constant love.

That day of Confirmation became a marker in my life, for me and for my family as well. It’s a moment they shared with me, a point they can look back on as they see the changes in me. And maybe, in time, that will open something in their hearts too.

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Faith has always been part of my life in some way. My parents weren’t religious, but my maternal grandparents were. They were the ones who first taught me about God and how to pray. Their influence didn’t last long, as they passed away when I was still young, but the seed was planted. Over the years, I drifted between ideas and beliefs, trying to make sense of things. At one point, I even thought of Jesus’ death and resurrection as metaphor rather than truth. I struggled with understanding who Jesus really is.

But something changed when I started attending St Petroc’s Church services regularly. Curiosity grew into something deeper. What once felt abstract began to feel real. I started going to the church in the autumn of 2025, and from there, everything seemed to unfold quite quickly.

I work from home as a Project Manager for a company that provides outsourcing services for private pension schemes. It gives me a flexible routine, which I really value. I spend time walking the dogs, enjoying the garden, especially in the summer, and trying to live a healthy lifestyle. Recently, I’ve been experimenting with making my own skincare—creams, lotions, and butters. It’s something small, but it brings me a lot of joy.

Looking back, I realise I was always searching. I never stopped seeking God. And now, I feel like I’ve finally begun to understand.